Today I will touch on two topics, one that is related to yesterday's abortion issue, and another that is completely unrelated, but very interesting. First off, I discovered yesterday in my attempt to have a conversation with some pro-choicers that probably 50% of our population has mastered the art of being a pseudo-intellectual. What exactly does this mean? Well, here you have it, the ODHAVBLOG guide to Pseudo-Intellectualism.

1. Use big words incorrectly and hope no one notices.
2. Have extreme views that you are incapable of backing up with logic.
3. If anyone questions those views, become angry, defensive, assume a condescending tone, and proceed to denounce them as racist, anti-semitic, close-minded, or any other random non-PC thing, even if this accusation is completely unfounded and makes no sense.
4. If anyone uses the words why, how, or explain, accuse them of intolerance of your views, dodge the question completely, and state some unrelated fact, as if you were answering the question.
5. Spend more of your time whining or engaging in comfortable self-affirmation than actually thinking.
6. Pretend to read books, but secretly get all your opinions from the stupidest celebrity on Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher. If someone calls you on this, call them anti-semitic.
7. Keep a large collection of obscure early 20th century english literature that you've never read laying around, just in case it becomes necessary to impress someone with your ability to twist word meanings into cleverly meaningless phrases about the relativity of everything or the superiority of secular humanism over every other philosophy.
8. The bottom line is, be very militant about everything so that no one can engage in discussion with you without being screamed at and accused of myriads of ridiculous nonsensical crap.

Part II of Todays Blog:
A Biography of the American Presidency: The Clinton and George W. Bush years.

Disclaimer: I know I didn't number Clinton's bungles, that's because everyone knows he was incompetent. What really makes me mad about Bush is that somehow people still like him! Imagine that...guess I'll have to number his bungles.

THE CLINTON YEARS

President Clinton sits around being suave and doing nothing for 8 years, drawing some criticism for "launching multimillion dollar cruise missiles to hit a tent with a camel in it."
President Clinton actually achieves something in education, but then completely nullifies this achievement by disregarding the Constitution and the Posse Comitatis Acts in the Waco incident; here Janet Reno orders the killing of numerous unarmed women and children, and is never held accountable. Both should have been impeached and jailed for life, but the media finds Clinton's personal life more interesting, impeaches him for ridiculous reason - Clinton isn't phased.
Boring idiot Al Gore runs against exciting idiot George W. Bush. Gore wins popular election, Bush wins the election that counts, the world wonders if there's ever the possibility of a good candidate running. For now, looks like no.

THE BUSH YEARS
***President Bush's many spectacular bungles are numbered. A bungle is defined as a major failure in any important category, or a violation of Constitutional principles.

Exciting idiot George W. Bush stays out of everyone's way, like a good President should, until 9-11.
After 9-11, President Bush is transformed into Napoleon meets caveman meets Genghis Khan.
President Bush goes into Afghanistan to get rid of al-Qaeda and get bin Laden, does neither. (BUNGLE #1)
Soon, the American people decide that their freedoms really aren't that great, and get rid of them; the USA Patriot Act is passed, violating no fewer than 4 fundamental constitutional principles. (BUNGLE #2)
Through the modern miracle of irresponsible journalism and the wonders of plain old ignorance, the American people think that pre-emptive war against defenseless 3rd world countries is necessary to ensure our national security; Iraq is attacked. (BUNGLE #3)
It is officially announced that President Bush has perfected President Clinton's methods, simultaneously launching hundreds of multi-million dollar cruise missiles at hundreds of camels in hundreds of tents. Saddam Hussein escapes (BUNGLE #4), WMD's are not found (BUNGLE #5), and American and British soldiers continue to be slaughtered in scattered guerilla warfare. (BUNGLE #6)
British PM Blair is almost lynched by the English people for decieving them into an unjust war, while President Bush breathes easy knowing that the American political and judicial systems do not hold the President accountable for his actions.
Two American citizens jailed during the war in Afghanistan are held indefinitely and without charge in military prisons, after being labeled as "enemy combatants" by President Bush. In doing this, President Bush suspends the constitutional right to due process of law. (BUNGLE #7)
True to his Republican roots, President Bush proposes a budget 22% higher than spend-crazy Clinton. Well, it was still Republican because it all went to blowing stuff up, not feeding people. (BUNGLE #8)
President Bush gives birth; it's a record $304 billion deficit! You know Bush, tax cuts usually work better when you cut spending too...not just spend more and more on the military. Whatever, it's your country...I guess... (BUNGLE #9)

Coming soon....the collapse of America as a free nation!
also known as
Fascism is good. I love Big Brother Bush.

In the land of the free....
....and the home of the brave.