BREAKING NEWS:

Responding to widespread criticism and disappointment from conservatives in response to his nomination of Harriet Miers, President Bush earlier today released a statement outlining his contingency plan should Miers fail to be approved as Supreme Court Justice.

In a surprise move, President Bush layed out his intentions for a new Supreme Court nominee: "Should Ms. Miers fail to secure approval from the Senate, I would like to announce that my next choice for a spot in our nation's highest court will be Steve Johnson, my best friend from elementary school. Mr. Johnson currently works as an insurance salesman, and has in the past graduated from high school, coached middle school baseball, and read the book Treason by Ann Coulter. Although he is slightly less qualified than Ms. Miers, I believe he will serve our country well as a member of the Supreme Court."

In another surprise move, Democratic Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid has once again come out in support of the President's choice, stating that Mr. Johnson would be "an excellent addition to the Court," and that his lack of legal experience "should not be viewed as a negative, but as an asset, bringing a different perspective to the Court." Although Reid still supports Ms. Miers' nomination, he says he will do his best to rally Democratic support for either nominee.